Don’t Feel Guilt When Practicing Self-Care
Guilt Free Self-Care is Possible
Let’s talk a little bit about guilt today. I’m sure you have your fair share of feeling guilty. We all do, and it’s not a great feeling. It’s a feeling that makes you feel powerless. It’s not a productive state of mind, and it certainly isn’t a positive state of mine. In fact, when you feel guilty, you focus on all the negative thoughts. That makes it impossible to think positive thoughts while you’re feeling guilty. Can you see why it is important to lose the guilt?
Guilt makes you feel powerless, and it takes away your confidence. Guilt makes you slow down and second guess yourself at everything you do. Guilt keeps you from taking action and making progress in all areas of your life.
In yesterday’s post, we touched on the fact that many people feel guilty about spending time and resources on self-care. There are a lot of complex reasons for this within our society. Despite what anyone else may say, you deserve to focus on your own needs. In fact, it’s good for those you love when you take care of yourself. You truly can’t fill another’s cup if your own is empty. So, I’d like to take this opportunity to emphasize why you shouldn’t feel guilty for practicing self-care and encourage you to do so in every area of your life.
Years ago I was taught about thinking like self-care as having a basket of apples. every time you do something for someone else, you give away an apple. If no one does something for you, or you don't do something for yourself, the basket becomes empty and you have nothing left to give. That is why it is important to learn how to practice guilt free self-care.
It’s Not Selfish
First and foremost, you must understand that taking time to care for yourself is not selfish in any way. It may be hard to get past the mindset that the needs of others are more important than your own, but overcoming this mindset is essential to allowing yourself to adequately meet your own needs. Care isn’t a zero-sum concept. When you care for yourself, it doesn’t have to mean you don’t care about others.
It’s Necessary
Self-care isn’t a luxury; it’s a necessity. It really is like the airplane air mask comparison. You have to ensure you can breathe before you can help those around you. If you’re tired, rundown and overwhelmed all the time, you absolutely cannot give your best self to others. You also can’t offer yourself the very best. Remember that self-care isn’t selfish. When you start making small changes to improve your life, you will suddenly realize that it was necessary to your mental and sometimes physical well-being. Often we push ourselves so hard we don't realize how empty we have become.
It Sets a Good Guilt Free Example
If you’re a parent, investing in self-care is not only good for you, it sets a good example for your kids. Even if you don’t have children, taking the time to care for yourself might be inspiring or motivational for those around you. In order for a stigma to end, it has to be normalized. When more of us let the world around us know why self-care matters, they may begin to change their minds about the concept, as well. As previously mentioned this doesn't necessarily mean bubble baths and spa days, although it could if you invite a friend to join you at a spa and talk about the benefits of self care. Or you could book a joint massage and spend some time just relaxing with your best friend.
It Demands Respect
It also sets a precedent for how you expect others to treat you. When you demonstrate that you value yourself and that you find it worthwhile investing time in yourself, they will respond in kind.
Learning to say no and set boundaries is good for your relationships. It teaches others how you expect to be treated and makes it clear that you see yourself as a priority. There’s no reason to feel guilty for that.
It will take time to overcome a lifetime of message society has given you and you’ve internalized. With practice, you can come to see the benefits of self-care and that it doesn’t have to be something that causes guilt.
To staying guilt free while taking care of your needs
Fran Watson
P.S. Please share these posts with a friend